Adventures in Zombieland
by QueenofDoomydoom
Summary: How can a tea better get any better? Zombies of course. It's up to Alice, Hatter, and Hare to save Wonderland from the zombie apocolypse.
1. Chapter 1

I have been wanting to do this for a while, but it's so hard to cross these two genres. I watched Adventures in Wonderland when I was little and coming across it on youtube made me remininscent. So I'm taking my childhood memories and traumatizing them with my insanity. I'm still doing Invader Zim stuff, I just want to dabble at this. This will have a soundtrack i have made up in my head.  
>Down with the sickness-richard cheese?<p>

Skeletons on parade-ludo

This is not the end- the bravery

Heads will roll

and anything I can think of.

-

Coffee. All Alice could think about at the moment was coffee. Not tea. Coffee. She had pulled an all-nighter studying. One doesn't become a forensic scientist by sitting around on their butts drinking tea all day, despite what Mr. Hatter says. She has a sneaky suspicion that the deplomas he showed her declaring him a PHD were fake.

Alice pulled her long, blond hair away from her face before turning on the T.V and switching to the news.

"Reports are pouring in all over of a civil uprising, what seemed to be a protest is now a national safety concern, Tom?" The plastic-smiling brunette turned to her co-anchor.

"That's correct, Sue. The people in question are resorting to the most extreme of acts of violence from blundgening to biting, even a few cases where they have swallowed the flesh. They have yet to make their demands known."

Alice paused, waking more at the news. She thought to the cadaver she had just the other night, who died from a high fever. What puzzled her was it had a bite on it's leg, which should've killed him from blood loss. She shook it off, ignoring the dots screaming to be connected.

So, not wanting to be burdened with the world's crap any further, she turned off the volume, fed Dinah, and began to get dressed. She had been busy all week long, and she finally had the day to herself. To Wonderland.

Alice blushed.

To the tea party... She's never revealed her crush, it only made her feel a little silly. Besides he would never think of her more than just a little girl that hung around at times.

She took one last glance at herself in the mirror. She wore black ripped leggings under a short denim skirt and a white T-shirt with a peace symbol on it, with black lace fingerless gloves and boots to complete the modern bohemien look.

Smiling, she held out her hand and stepped into the mirror.

Sue's fake smile fell from the screen. If only Alice had left the volume on, she might've had a warning of what was to come.

_

Hatter hummed as he circled the tea table, setting out places and pouring tea. Today they would be having kava tea, Alice's favorite. She doesn't come around as often as she used to since she went to college, but she does her best. And Hatter and the Hare always look forward to the end of the week when sh puts time away for them. But Hatter was always more eager.

Hatter was so proud of his friend. A Scientist! He didn't understand much of the forensics she was studying, but that only impressed him more. One day she was this little fairy-like child and the next an intriguing young woman. Time was so different in her world...

"Hello , ..." Alice beamed as she walked through the gate, causing the Hatter's heart to skip a beat.

"Alice, you're almost our age, you can drop the formalities." Hare smiled before taking a bite of his crumpet.

"Oh, I know. But it's a hard habbit to break. Do I smell kava?"

Hatter smiled as Alice sat down, "Of course..."

"What else would he serve on your Saturdays-" Hare weezed out the last part as Hatter stomped his foot. Hare was many things, but discrete wasn't one of them.

"So, Alice, how is college?" Hatter fell into the seat next to her, "Any interesting...patients?"

"Everything's fine, most of what we get lately die from a fever of unkown orgin."

The Hare sniffed, "Really? I visited the Walrus today, he said he and Pinniped had both been sick."

"Since when?" Alice asked as she sipped the spicy sweet liquid.

"Since Pinniped came home from his trip from your world. He felt so bad he bit the Walrus and he had to cancel our golf game we planned earlier."

Alice wanted to laugh, but she kept control, "I always thought Pinniped was just a figment of the Walrus' imagination..."

"Well, those teeth marks aren't. I saw it first hand when he brought over my golf clubs..." Hare groaned.

"It was disgusting!" Piped the Dormouse, then going back into his teapot.

Hatter reached over the table for a cupcake, offering it to Alice, "Now, is this any talk for tea?"

Hare thought over this, "Well, if we're having tea while we're talking about it, then... yes?"

"Oh, ok." Hatter smiled, accepting the new laws of polite table manners. Alice just rolled her eyes. She was just ,about to return to her tea when a shadow eclipsed the table. All three looked up to see...

"Walrus, I thought you were sick! Are you playing hookie?" Hatter accused.

Right away Alice could see something was wrong. And by the way Hare was shaking behind her, he must've noticed it too. But Hatter was oblivious to the Walrus' glassy eyes, graying skin and the blood dripping from his tusks.

Hatter stepped closer before stopping to wretch, "What is that stench? Mr. Walrus, if you want people to like you, you need to bathe."

The Walrus took a step closer towards the Hatter. Alice, thinking quickly, grabbed a butter knife and stabbed the giant undead creature.

"Alice! I am shocked..." Hatter's sentence was cut short as the Hare threw himself at his friend, shoving him out of the Walrus' grasp. Hatter was about to lecture his friends when he saw that his hat had been knocked of his head. By. The. Walrus!

"...you touched my hat..." Hatter hissed. It was on! Jumping to his feet, he grabbed a nearby teapot.

He was ready to throw it when, "I'm in here, moron!"

"Sorry..." Hatter set Dormy's teapot down before picking up another one and broke it. With a feral cry, he jammed the largest shard into the Zombie-walrus' head yelling, "NO ONE TOUCHES THE HAT!"

The Walrus fell dead. For good.

All stood in silence before a realization came to Hatter, "He was dead!"


	2. Chapter 2

I wrote this a long time ago, but forgot to add it on . I'm still writing invader zim in the 40's, it should be up by saterday or sunday

Thirty minutes later and a few more cups of tea to calm their nerves, everybody agreed that what they had witnessed was a zombie. There was little time to mourn, they talked of what needed to be done next. Hatter had gone inside, leaving Hare and Alice debating.

"Maybe he was the only one..." He bit at his nails threw his glove.

Alice shook her head, "You said Pinniped was sick too. I think it's like rabies, it starts with the bite."

"Even so, what can we do?" Alice knew Hare was scared, but she wanted him to see reason.

"We can tell the Queen. Maybe she might know. Besides, her palace is bigger and safer than here."

Hare nodded, "G-good idea. She'll protect us... But what if we run into more of those things? We can't even see Pinniped if he decides to bite us!"

Hatter came out, a contraption strapped to his back, "Which is why I have invented the Make-R-Deader."

"Um, that looks like a vacuum." Alice sighed skeptically.

"Was a vacuum. Now loaded with the broken china I couldn't throw away." Hatter propped up a dummy, "But watch this demonstration..."

He held out the hose attachment and aimed at the mannequin. Pushinh a button, hundreds of glass shards impaled the dummy, "Do you know what this means?"

"We don't have to do the dishes!" Hare jumped up.

Hatter smiled before shaking his head, "No. I invented something that didn't backfire."

"Congratulations, Mr. Hatter..." Alice smiled sadly, "let's hope you don't need it."

Hare thought a bit before running in the Hatter's house and running back out with a fencing sword and a golf club. He handed Alice the sword before taking a practice swing, "We all might as us all have protection..."

"What does that have to do with... Oh you meant against the zombies...yes, good idea." Hatter blushed, momentarily misunderstanding his friend.

The Dormouse came out of his teapot, "Don't leave me here alone!"

Hatter picked up Dormy and placed him in his coat pocket, "We wouldn't do that..."

"Well you almost threw me to a zombie." He whimpered.

"I'm sorry..."

Alice spoke up, "Look, we should get going before it gets dark. I wouldn't want to run into one at night."

Rabbit sighed, somewhat content with his day as he set down a tray with lemonade served on the patio table, the ice clinking in the glass in a peaceful melody. The Queen was practicing croquet, she had a match against the Duchess the next day and losing was not an option. She was about to swing when...

"YOU'RE MAJESTY!" A shrill cry called out making her miss her target. She looked out to the sunset to see the Hatter and the Hare, Alice in tow, racing towards her.

"What is it now?" She humphed.

Hare was the first to reach her. Though he was out of breath, he tried to explain, "Z-z-z...

"Z-z-z what?"

"Zombies!" Hatter cried out falling to his knees at her feet.

The Rabbit rolled his eyes, "Oh for Heaven's sake, what is it you two are conjuring up in your little minds this time?"

"It's true Mr. Rabbit! We saw it." Alice exclaimed, catching her breath.

The Queen paused. Now she can expect such shenanigans from Hatter and Hare, but Alice was a different matter, "What exactly was it you saw?"

"The Walrus...he tried to attack Hatter... We swear he was dead. Alice even had to stab him but it didn't faze him." Hare shook uncontrollably.

"He's really dead now though.." Hatter nodded.

The Rabbit grew dizzy, and sat down. He grabbed a glass of lemonade, drinking it down to help him from feeling faint.

"...And we think there's more. He was bitten by Pinniped." Hare added.

The Queen shook the two men clutching to her and started to pace, "Alice? You know better than anyone. Please tell me he was already dead."

Alice nodded, "I've seen car accident victims look more lively than he did. I think it's like rabbies, it starts with a bite. But quicker."

"Is there any way to kill something already dead?" Rabbit squeeked.

"The head. That's how Hatter killed the Wal.. the zombie. Stop the brain, that will kill anything."

Hatter nodded, "How true that is..."

Rabbit froze as a he remembered something, "Does a fever have anything to do with it?"

"Yes, I think so." Alice nodded.

"Ballocks!" Rabbit tugged at his ears, "One of the card gaurds went home earlier, he said he had a fever. He didn't look too good either."

The Queen sighed. Then she noticed Alice's sword, "Please, that won't do much good. Come on, we'll get you suited with something better."


End file.
